talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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