please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Randomize
