She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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