I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
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