so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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