Heybabeimwearingurpanties
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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