I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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