I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Randomize
