i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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