In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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