Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Watching her eat just hurts me
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Randomize
