it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
