She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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