I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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