I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Randomize
