hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Randomize
