Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
