Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
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