if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
tell your sister to shave her snatch
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
