As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize
