Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
