this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
