I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
It's just like the Real World with babies
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
