I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
