I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
smell my finger.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Randomize
