I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
did you just send me my own nude
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
