i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
