I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
