How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
