He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Randomize
