its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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