Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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