ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
