i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Randomize
