Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
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