i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
