Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
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