good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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