I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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