I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
