There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Randomize
