You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
