What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
