Yo dont text me then not text me
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Randomize
