After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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