You're so nebulous sometimes
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Randomize
