I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
