the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
