So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
sex in a hospital.. check
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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