No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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