My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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